To Russia, With Love

I'm not really sure I understand what happened here.

One minute, best friends. Next, barely aquaintances?

I wanna say there's someone to blame but I don't think there is. I know you're mad at me for something, (I can read blogs.) and maybe you aren't anymore but I still feel it. There's something not right between us anymore, and I want to get rid of it. I still want to be your best friend. I want to be the friend you want to watch star wars with. But I'm not anymore. You can relate to someone better now. You both have things in common I don't have with either of you. But I really wish things were back to the way they were before.

When you talk to me I feel like you're being fake sometimes.

I'm sorry about not going to that birthday party with you. If your family came up from another city I'm sure you wouldn't have gone either.

I didn't get close to the other girls because i wanted to replace you. I still text you and talk to you more than I do them! We're close at work but we barely hang out outside work.

I know all of this sounds creepy and whatnot, but I want things to be the way they were before. I'm upset that all of the sudden there's a little group between the two of you (and I know one of you doesn't like me which doesn't help.) and I'm outside of it.

If you want to talk to me about it, fine.

If not, well at least don't make this another Diane situation.

I don't want to lose you as my best friend.

I miss you.

Anything You Say Can And Will Be Used Against You In A Court Of Law

This little while has been a strange one for me.

I feel like I've been distorting my view of how life should be like. I've put this lovely life of mine up on a pedestal, expecting everything to work out for me without acutally working at it.

I've put myself in a bit of a pickle.

I somehow jsut now realized that relationships of all kinds need work. Friendships, relationships, cargoships. I thought that all the relationships I had would be fine as long I didn't become too bitchy. Well that shit don't fly sister.

I realized this when Michelle came up. I realized how much of a snotty bitch I've been. I actually do regret not seeing her. And same with Jacqueline. Now she's gone back, and I only came out of my stupor today to realize she was here. I seriously need to get my head outta my ass.

Same goes for my relationship with Dorian. This weekend was our two year anniversary. We were fine Friday and Saturday. But come Sunday, our actual anniversary, we were downright mean to each other. I don't know if it was the lack of sleep or the fact that I caught a cold, but it was horrible. I don't ever want it to happen again. Then again, why am I blaming all this on myself?

Regardless, I'm sorry to everyone. It's been a shitty past while for me. Everything'll be fine now. To lighten the mood:

He's totally thinking about me too.

I Rove Brogging!

So I'm just sitting with my little sister again, computing side by each, as we do every week, and I'm really enjoying the sister bonding time. I usually never get to hang out with my sister, what with her stupid friend always being there, whining/complaining about whatever miniscule detail is bothering her at the moment. I'm really sick of that girl. She used to be hilarious, and I could always have fun with her. But now she's this whiny, bitchy, emotionally abusive mess. I'm really sick of the way she treats Jess. I'm gonna pummel her. Her parents are great, but the three children in that family are socially retarded. I mean Jesus.

I really hate when the house is devoid of toilet paper. I mean what do you do!? Drip dry? Shake? Wipe on a towel? Seriously. It's one of those things where you always run out right when the stores close. I swear God sits on His super comfy cloud throne (which is probably made of Cottonelle, or Charmin) and laughs His Holy ass off. Grrr.

I'm seriously trying to think of things to blog about, but I'm coming up with nothing. My life isn't all that interesting. I love my life, and I love it boring. I just have nothing to write about. Oh yeah! Clay Aiken came out finally! I'm so happy for him. It's about time he came out, he needs to start living freely. No gays should be closeted. That saddens me. Be proud of who you are! Gay is awesome!

So all you close-minded Christians: I have two words for you.

FUCK OFF!

This Picture Captures My Sentiments Exactly

I feel as sad as this dog.

Everyone has left me here. I don't hate any of them for it, nor am I mad about it. I'm just sad that I lost two of my bestest friends in the world.

I know they're (hopefully) not gone forever. And I can't wait for them to come back and see me :) I just wish I was doing something amazing with my life like they are.

I'm currently not doing anything with my life. I know I will be soon enough, but right now I feel like I'm letting everyone down and not making anyone proud. I feel so useless. I feel stagnant. For example, in my relationship, I feel like I'm not good enough for him. Like his parents are looking at us as a couple and thinking that he can do way better than me, like I'm not good enough for their only son. And I sometimes feel that way too. He's succesful at work, with his career, with his finances and such. He's such an amazing person, and here I am, the lowly being that he accidently fell in love with.

I'm Afraid I'll Have To Charge You For Noise Pollution Sir

I think I'm in love with these men.

As you've noticed, there's an empty pair of shoes here. They belong to Kevin. Kevin left because he obviously wanted to hurt me.

Alot of the songs Backstreet sings are about love, and staying power in relationships. They're trying to convince me that they're the men for me and that I should be with them forever.

They sang a song called "I'll Never Break Your Heart". But that's exactly what Kevin did.

Thanks Kevin. You've broken many promises, 10 000 in fact. Much like another song they sing.

Bye Kevin Richardson.

P.S. I'm keeping your shoes.

Excuse Me While I Taser You For This Minor Traffic Violation

Michelle and I are standing at work all alone right now. She's washing dishes and I'm being useless. Wait not true. I totally just swept a crumb onto the floor.

We ate pumpkin cream cheese muffins, so I've determined that the only thing noteworthy and awesome about today is calories. And sweaters.

But one thing I do hate? Frappuccinos. And all the fuckwit teenage girls ordering them. Yes, it's your Frappuccino. Why? BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY CUSTOMER I'VE HAD ALL HOUR.

I think this place is killing my soul. I'm usually in a great mood, until I step through the threshold of doom. And then the Sex and the City soundtrack comes on. Everyone's souls are killed. You can see the tangible pain and hate on the Indigo/Starbucks employees faces when those first few gut-wrenching notes of Fergie's opening song start to play. I'm going to write her a letter.

It's a sad Wednesday because today is the day Jacqueline left. As of this current keystroke, she's been gone for two hours. :(

I miss you Jacqueline.

I Don't Walk, I Jump off Shit

The Kalashnikov Chronicles
1.0

Yeah, now I have a fricken sweet blog with a fricken sweet blog name. Now my loyal and good looking fans can follow my fricken sweet self.

I copied Michelle and Jaqueline really.

But I'm not going anywhere, and they're both leaving. So technically I'm elsewhere anyway.

It's gonna be a lonely while without them. It would be hilarious if they came back and I was fat. Or thin. Or a lesbian.

Who knows?

Maybe they'll find better friends and realize I'm pretty crappy. I doubt it though, I'm pretty awesome.

They'd better read my blog though.